TWILIGHT: the lost script

 

 EDWARD: I will now use my superhuman strength to slam you against the mirror!

JAMES: Oh, the pain! I love it almost as much as I want to drink your girlfriend’s blood! But for now I will satisfy my urges by breathing my undead breath all over your pretty face! Do you smell that, loverboy? It is the blood of a human being I just ate as a snack! HAAAAAAHHHH!

EDWARD: It’s not working. For you see, I do not actually need to breathe, and if I do not breathe, I cannot be troubled by your odiferous oral issue.

JAMES: Nobody likes a smarty pants.

EDWARD: And nobody likes a vampire who doesn’t floss. You should see the condition of your molars, you dastardly cur.

JAMES: Are they really that bad?

EDWARD: Well, I’d stay away from taffy and from people with really thick necks. You never know what’s going to happen.

JAMES: Thanks, dude.

EDWARD: Now, die! For the sake of true love, die!

JAMES: At this point, I’d love nothing better.

(Summit Entertainment)

I found this online, the script goes with the picture above. Its called “Twilight”: The Lost Script (they’re not the real scripts. They’re just made-up). Everything in pink is what I wrote. Here’s another one:

 

 

  .

 

 

 

LAURENT: Hey, did anyone lose a baseball? We found one about ten kilometers back.

JAMES: And we’ll totally trade it for that klutzy-looking brunette standing behind home plate. Hello. Anyone?

VICTORIA: Told you they wouldn’t go for it, James. They’re obviously having too much fun playing with their food

LAURENT: You mean you’re not planning to eat the human later?

JAMES: You’re crazy! Have you smelled her? I would totally eat that!

VICTORIA: James, I’m standing RIGHT HERE.

JAMES: What if we ate her together?

VICTORIA: I could go for that.

LAURENT: Oh, you two… How is it that I am the only single vampire here? Everyone’s seen my abs, right?

(Summit Entertainment)

Awwwwwwwww. Dont worry Laurent, you’re going to get killed in the next book/movie anyways!

To read more “Lost Scripts”, click here.

BY SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT